The laboured gasping is now echoing in another voice as I end the life of this elderly cancer patient’s last and only companion. She sobs and sobs, cradlng his lifeless body, crying with unending heartbroken sorrow, and she wails to no one, why, please why can’t she go with him too, please. All I can do is clutch her hand tight as her tears soak into my shirt.

1. Client brings cat in without a cage (or even a box, or a pillowcase) even though it says you must do so clearly on the front door. In large print. In all caps.
2. Client puts unrestrained cat on front counter where it starts to wander around and knock things over.
3. When told to take her cat, client gruffly dumps cat on floor in waiting room as if you've been rude.
4. Cat starts to wander arou nd the waiting room where clients are coming in and out of the door and the clinic is near a busy street.
5. Both receptionists are busy on the phone so cat wanders behind the desk and into pharmacy where vets are often taking (large, boisterous) dogs (that may appreciate a tasty snack) to and from the hospital
6. Client is a bitch when you tell her to please restrain her cat.
7. Cat is here because owner is pretty sure it has cat flu, a highly contagious disease spread by sneezing.

Sometimes a little part of you wishes something would go wrong just to teach rude idiots a lesson.

But you know they'll just end up somehow blaming you for it.

Young guy with a 6 week puppy for vaccination.
"I don't know if this is normal, or not... but... um, I'm having weird gender confusion, I don't know if I should be its mum or its dad or what..."
I.. huh?!?

The dog out the back keeps walking around in circles until its legs get tangled in its lead and it falls over. This would be funny if it wasn't so irritating.

FFS DOG! HAVE YOU NEVER WATCHED THE BATTLE OF HOTH?!!

A phone call.

"But how did my beloved Tigger die? I mean I know he was a 20 year old cat and he was emaciated and not eating or drinking because of his kidney failure, but did he have a heart attack or did he have a stroke, or what?"

I... what?

Tips for a harmonious working environment #12
When asking a colleague for help, refrain from obliviously spraying them with blood as you're trying to explain how you have this artery you just cut and it just won't stop squirting everywhere

A simple test:
If you're using the electro-cautery unit on "cut" mode, and you don't make lightsaber noises while slicing/burning straight through tissue, then there's definitely something wrong with you.